Doctor Who and the Never Christmas
by imnotokaywiththerunning
Summary: Alternately titled Jo Grant: Operation Christmas Jo just wants to have a nice Christmas party for UNIT but the aliens didn't get the memo.


**A/N Yes, I know it's late but it is still December so it's kind of still Christmas. This is a second prompt I did for Classic Who Secret Santa this year. Ettelwenailionon also asked for some Jo Grant. Enjoy! Happy Holidays!**

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 **Jo Grant: Operation X-mas**

(The Doctor had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. I did it all on my own.)

Jo Grant looked up in delighted awe as the snowflakes began their flurry descent. She spread her arms wide and spun in a circle laughing outside the gates to UNIT headquarters. She stopped, smiling and breathless, at the small huff of amusement from the shivering soldier just inside the gates.

"Oh, isn't it marvelous, Sergeant Benton?" She exclaimed. "Snow! And just in time for Christmas!"

"If you say so, Miss," Sergeant Benton replied with a dubious glance toward the sky. "If you ask me, it was cold enough before. Now I'll be cold _and_ wet."

Jo shook her head despairingly. Some people had no proper grasp of the magic of the season. "Where's your Christmas spirit, Sergeant?"

"On holiday, Miss," Sergeant Benton said with a cheeky grin drawing a bubbling laugh from Jo. She showed him her pass and he nodded her through the gates and onto UNIT grounds.

Jo looked up at the austere building as she walked. Were it not for the falling snow, there was no indication that it was less than a week until Christmas. It was depressing, really, Jo thought. The bland, brown, blank of a building with more of the same to be found inside. Jo frowned. Well, she would have to fix that, wouldn't she?

 **Operation Xmas**

Jo made her way to the Doctor's laboratory. He could help her or at least tell her where she could find UNIT's supply of Christmas decorations. He'd been here longer than she had. And the Doctor had the uncanny ability of knowing more about UNIT HQ than even Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart.

Walking through the doors to the Doctor's lab, Jo was met with the acrid smell of burning plastic. She yelped in alarm at the mass of burning beakers on the main lab bench. The flames were steadily taking over the whole worktop. Jo dropped her things on the floor and sprinted for one of the many fire extinguishers kept in the lab for just this reason. She quickly aimed and pulled the trigger dousing the fire creeping dangerously close to a box of Bunsen burners.

Jo coughed, waving her hand in front of her face to clear the smoke, and scanned the room for the Doctor. The room was empty save for her. She sighed. Typical. She turned to replace the fire extinguisher, and then looked despairingly at the melted black goop covering the lab bench. She did not want to deal with that today, but it looked like she wasn't going to be given a choice. The Doctor wasn't going to clean it, wherever he happened to be.

"Jo! What have you done?!" The Doctor suddenly leapt out of the TARDIS set in the corner of the lab, wide-eyed and accusing, fluffy white hair standing on its end. His velvet cape swirled around him as he pointed at the ruined lab bench. "That was a very important experiment! And now you've ruined it!"

"What?" Jo scoffed. "How could that possibly have been an experiment? It was about 30 seconds from setting the whole building on fire!"

The Doctor huffed. "It was a _controlled_ fire. I was watching it. There was no danger of this useless building catching fire. Although," he added under his breath, "it would have been an improvement."

Jo rolled her eyes. She believed that almost as much as she believed in Father Christmas. It was a comforting thought, but ultimately untrue. "Right. Sorry about your experiment. Do you know where the Christmas decorations are?"

The Doctor's smug smile at her apology fell into a confused frown at the abrupt change in subject. He watched her warily. "Christmas decorations?"

"Yes," Jo nodded.

The Doctor raised a dubious eyebrow. "Why do you need Christmas decorations?"

"I'm going to decorate HQ for Christmas," Jo said simply.

"Right," he said, obviously lost. "Well, I think there's some in the storage room next to the mess hall. And there's some in the TARDIS if you need more."

Jo smiled. "Thanks."

She turned on her heel to go find the decorations in the storage room leaving the Doctor to stare bewildered after her.

 **Operation Xmas**

Jo had found UNIT's storage room easier than she had expected. Inside she found boxes of tinsel, ribbons, and Christmas ornaments. She'd even found some fairy lights. She knew exactly what to do with those. Who would be better to ask for a tree? Captain Yates or Sergeant Benton? Definitely not the Brigadier. He would say no before she could ask. He would have to be handled very carefully.

Jo carried a box of tinsel and ribbons into the mess hall. It would be a good place to start. And maybe if she could convince the Brigadier, they could have a small UNIT Christmas party. It'd be just the thing for everyone after the year they've had dealing with alien invasion after alien invasion. Jo was grateful for the alien free quiet of the last few weeks.

Jo hummed Christmas carols as she hung the colorful tinsel from the walls. Everything was starting to look festive and Jo couldn't have been happier.

"Miss Grant, what exactly do you think you're doing?"

Jo turned her head to see Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart standing over her with a glare. Darn. She had been hoping to fly under the radar a bit longer. She smiled sweetly up at him. "I'm decorating for Christmas, Brigadier."

He sighed. "Miss Grant, this is a military operation. We do not _decorate_ for Christmas," he stated slowly. "We're already having a Christmas dinner tomorrow. We don't need all of," he gestured around them, "this."

Jo tilted her head. "Then why do you have all these Christmas decorations?"

The Brigadier blinked rapidly. "Well," he began, "it's… for…"

"Yes?" Jo asked innocently as he continued to flounder.

His mouth snapped shut and he turned on his heel to march away down the hallway. "Captain Yates!" he bellowed. "I want those budget reports on my desk NOW!"

Jo watched him leave with a triumphant grin. It usually took twice as long for the Brigadier to walk away speechless. What a lovely early Christmas present!

 **Operation Xmas**

The Doctor was still grumbling about his ruined experiment when Jo returned to the lab. She had finished all she could in the mess hall and wanted the Doctor's opinion on getting a Christmas tree. She breezed into the lab ignoring the Doctor's bad mood entirely.

"We should get a tree," Jo said perching on a stool beside the Doctor.

The Doctor didn't look up from his microscope. "Why do we need a tree? There are trees outside."

Jo shook her head. She knew he was being deliberately obtuse. "We need a Christmas tree. To decorate. For Christmas."

He finally looked up at her. "What is with you humans' obsession with Christmas?"

"It's a magical time of year where we celebrate with our friends and family and everyone is happy."

The Doctor scoffed. "That's not true. There are more crimes around Christmas than any other time of the year-"

"Doctor!" Jo said over his protests. She grabbed his arm to pull him up from the lab bench. "Let's go get a tree." At the Doctor's continued reluctance, Jo added, "The Brigadier probably won't like it."

The Doctor smiled brightly at the thought of the Brigadier's displeasure. "A Christmas tree! What a marvelous idea, Jo!"

 **Operation Xmas**

Jo and the Doctor zipped along the countryside in Bessie, the Doctor's yellow roadster. Snow still swirled through the air biting at Jo's cheeks, but not even the cold could dampen her spirits. They had found the absolute perfect Christmas tree with the help of the incredibly knowledgeable attendant. He had pointed them to the best tree almost before they had walked into the maze of freshly cut evergreens. They'd bought it and somehow managed to wrangle it into Bessie's back seat.

The Doctor turned into UNIT's drive barely stopping at the gate for Sergeant Benton. Jo smiled brightly at the Sergeant and waved as they sped by him.

"Sergeant Benton!" The Doctor called as he parked Bessie at UNIT's front doors. "Be a good chap and help me with this tree."

Sergeant Benton came jogging up to them, red-cheeked from the cold and out of breath. "Doctor, you've _got_ to stop at the gate to show your pass. We've talked about this."

"Oh please, Sergeant," the Doctor laughed. "Why do I have to stop? Can you not recognize the yellow car?"

Jo climbed down from Bessie and walked around to stand between the two men. She smiled placatingly at Sergeant Benton. "I'll make sure he stops next time, Sergeant."

Sergeant Benton turned towards her. He sighed, defeated. "Thanks, Miss, but I'll believe that when it happens. No one can make the Doctor do anything."

"Exactly!" the Doctor agreed. He began to untie the tree from the car. "Now that that's settled, Sergeant, help me with the tree."

"Sergeant Benton will do no such thing," a stern voice called from the open front door of UNIT HQ. The Brigadier walked out to stand between the Doctor and the tree. "Benton is on guard duty and not to be used for your manual labor. Sergeant, return to your post."

Benton, who had jumped to attention at the Brigadier's appearance, called a quick, "Sir!," and turned to jog back to the gatehouse. The Brigadier watched him leave before turning his gaze back to the Doctor.

"As I've told Miss Grant, Doctor, UNIT HQ is a military institution and as such, we do not decorate for Christmas."

"Oh come on, Brigadier," the Doctor tried. "It's just a small tree. What harm could it do to have it set up in the mess hall? Especially since we've already bought one. It'll be good for morale."

The Brigadier rolled his eyes and turned on his heel to march back inside with a grumbled, "Civilians!"

Jo smiled at the Doctor reaching for one end of the tree. "Come on, Doctor. We can carry it inside ourselves."

 **Operation Xmas**

"So it's true. I thought the Brigadier was exaggerating."

Jo looked up from hanging a red bauble on her newly acquired Christmas tree. Captain Yates stood just inside the mess hall, hands on his hips, looking around him with a huge grin. When his eyes finally returned to Jo and the tree, he clapped his hands together and crossed the room to stand beside Jo. "What can I do to help?" he asked eagerly.

Jo picked up a balled tangle of fairy lights. "You can start with these," she said placing them in Captain Yates' arms. "The Doctor was supposed to do it, but he said he left some experiment in the lab he had to go check on."

Captain Yates frowned at the tangled mess. "Sounds like the Doctor. Always helpful but only if it's interesting."

Jo shrugged. "At least he helped me carry in the tree. I thought he was going to leave me to carry it myself!"

Captain Yates let out a small laugh and then focused on the task of unraveling a seemingly never-ending tangle of lights. Jo picked up another ornament to place on the tree. She walked around the tree to find the perfect spot. There was a bare spot near the top. That's where it needed to be. She reached up ready to place the hook on the branch when two eyes blinked open to stare at her. She blinked rapidly. Surely she wasn't seeing eyes on a Christmas tree? She tilted her head and the eyes followed. She stepped back ready to call for Captain Yates when a face began to materialize around the eyes. _Kind of like the Cheshire Cat,_ Jo thought absently. But instead of revealing the purple stripes of a large cat, the outline of a large lizard with dull red scales began to take shape. Jo watched the strange creature wide-eyed. She was torn between calmly telling Captain Yates of their new live Christmas ornament and screaming.

The lizard's tongue flicked out and Jo's decision was made for her.

 **Operation Xmas**

Jo's scream brought almost the entirety of the UNIT forces to the mess hall. The Brigadier was the first to arrive to the sight of Captain Yates tangled into the very fairy lights he was moments before untangling and Jo flailing around swatting at herself.

"What the devil is going on here?" Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart barked.

"Brigadier, help me!" Jo cried continuing to battle against God knew what. The Brigadier could only stare at her in concern for her state of mind.

"Captain Yates, what's going on?" he asked again.

The captain was scrambling to get to Jo. "Something's come out of the tree, sir!"

The Brigadier turned to the tree, but he couldn't see anything, only Miss Grant flailing around at nothing. Helplessly he walked over to her. He tried to catch her arms to keep her from hurting herself but instead of her arm, he grabbed thin air. But it wasn't thin air because it moved and grasped his hand. He stared in shock as a red lizard popped into existence where before there had been nothing. It slowly opened its mouth letting its tongue loll out of its mouth and then clamped its teeth around the Brigadier's fingers.

The Brigadier yelped and slung his hand away from him sending the lizard flying through the air towards the mess hall door. "Lock the door!" he shouted once he realized his mistake. The lizard was already blending back into the floor tiles like some overly large chameleon. "Don't let that thing escape!"

Sergeant Benton, who was closest to the door, jumped to try to close it before the lizard could escape, but before he could lock the door the Doctor burst through startling the lizard into climbing up the walls tearing down the garlands Jo had hung earlier. The Doctor turned back to yell at the Sergeant, "Don't just stand there, man! Lock the door before it escapes!"

Sergeant Benton rolled his eyes but did as he was told. The lizard had made its way around the entire circumference of the mess hall. Soldiers were scrambling to try to catch it, but it would always stay just out of reach. It was like the lizard was toying with them. It would blink in and out of existence long enough for someone to get close before tearing off again.

"Doctor," Jo gasped beside the Doctor after yet another failed attempt to catch the lizard. "Do you know what that thing is?"

The Doctor was focused on following the lizard's path through the room as it dodged UNIT's finest. "It's a zzaxxl from Mars. I suppose it would be the Earth equivalent of a dog."

"That thing's a dog?!" Captain Yates laughed in disbelief. "You've got to be joking!"

The Doctor puffed himself up to his full height to stare down his nose at Captain Yates. "For lack of a better term, yes, Captain, it _is_ a dog."

The Brigadier had watched this exchange with a frown. "A dog, you say?"

"Yes!" The Doctor huffed. "Are you deaf as well as incompetent?"

The Brigadier ignored him. He pursed his lips and let out a shrill whistle. The zzaxxl stopped in its tracks almost comically and then came barrelling down the room right towards the Brigadier. He planted his feet and opened his arms to catch the beast as it jumped the last few feet through the air slamming into his chest. The zzaxxl knocked him off his feet and into the Christmas tree behind him with a crash.

Jo, the Doctor, and Captain Yates rushed to the Brigadier's side. He had managed to capture the zzaxxl which was now wriggling in his arms and licking his face with enthusiasm.

"Well done, old chap!" The Doctor laughed as Jo and Captain Yates tried to contain their grins. "I think you've got yourself a new pet."

The Brigadier frowned trying to pull the zzaxxl away from his face with little success. "Can someone please get this thing off of me?"

"Certainly." The Doctor reached down and deftly plucked the zzaxxl from the Brigadier's arms. He scratched the zzaxxl's chin affectionately. It began to purr. "See? Zzaxxls aren't so bad. They just like to play."

Jo gingerly reached to pet the zzaxxl's head. She grinned as it blinked happily at her. "It's so cute."

"Well, it wasn't so cute a few moments ago," the Brigadier huffed and he pulled himself to his feet. He was covered in sap and pine needles from head to toe. He frowned at the broken Christmas tree at his feet. "That thing's broken our Christmas tree."

"Technically, you broke it," the Doctor corrected him helpfully. "A zzaxxl's not big enough to do that kind of damage."

The Brigadier turned red as he glared at the Doctor. "Get that thing out of here," he fumed. "And clean up this mess!" he yelled at them as he stormed out of the mess hall.

 **Operation Xmas**

"Thank you for getting us another tree, Brigadier," Jo said as she watched two UNIT soldiers unload another Christmas tree from the back of the delivery truck.

"Well," the Brigadier cleared his throat, "it was the least I could do after I...fell on the other one."

Jo barely suppressed a smile. It wouldn't do to antagonize him after he'd had a change of heart. He might have destroyed her first Christmas tree but he had at least caught that alien lizard. "Well, I think it's lovely, Brigadier."

He hummed gruffly and stalked away. Jo finally let herself laugh at the absurdity of it all. The poor Brigadier. Caught between his own sense of honor for replacing what he'd broken and his love of rules that said no Christmas decorations on a military base.

"Excuse me, Miss."

Jo turned to find the helpful attendant from the tree farm earlier smiling at her.

"I heard about your other tree and I wanted to say how very sorry I am."

"Oh, it isn't your fault," Jo giggled. "Someone just got a little carried away and fell on it."

The attendant frowned at her. "Of course, it wasn't my fault!" Jo stepped back from him, but he quickly offered up another simpering smile. "I just meant, I'm sorry for your troubles. We at Retsam Tree Farm want our customers to have the happiest of Christmas'. Please accept this token as a gift from us. We wish you a very happy Christmas."

He held out the most beautiful ornament Jo had ever seen. It was a bear of the lightest blue with fur that almost made it come alive. It was a masterpiece of craftsmanship. She took it reverently from the attendant's hand.

"It almost looks real," she breathed, holding the bear up to the light.

"Yes, it does indeed."

Jo beamed at the attendant. "Thank you so very much."

"Happy Christmas," the attendant replied and climbed back into his delivery truck.

Jo waved. "Happy Christmas to you, too!"

 **Operation Xmas**

"Did you get your new Christmas tree settled?" the Doctor asked as Jo entered his lab.

"Yep," Jo replied. "And I've told the Brigadier that he's to stay right away from it."

The Doctor chuckled. "I wonder how he got all of that sap out of his uniform. I told him I could help, but he didn't seem to want it."

Jo shrugged and climbed up one of the lab stools. "So what did you do with that space lizard?"

"Zzaxxl," the Doctor corrected absently. "It's safely back on Mars, though how it ended up here, I don't know."

Jo began to sort through various reports the Doctor had left for her that he had deemed a waste of his time. "It was kind of cute once I knew it wasn't going to try to eat me. Why couldn't we have kept it?"

The Doctor looked up from his microscope, turned in his seat, and stared at Jo in disbelief. "Are you mad? That thing was here less than an hour and nearly ruined my experiments. I shudder to think what it would have done had it been _bored."_

"Still thought it was cute," Jo shrugged and the Doctor turned back to his microscope with an annoyed huff.

 **Operation Xmas**

Jo hummed to herself as she walked toward Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart's office. She had finally finished all of the Doctor's requisition orders. He went through more test beakers than any other scientists she had worked with. The Brigadier wasn't going to be happy with his latest requests for more.

She turned the corner into the main office hallway when she heard a loud thud coming from the mess hall in the other direction. She paused. She didn't hear anything else after a few minutes. Jo shrugged and turned around to continue the Brigadier's office. Whatever it was could wait until tomorrow. She'd had a long enough day and all she wanted was to get these reports filed and go home.

 **Operation Xmas**

It was snowing again when Jo returned to UNIT the next morning. The snow on the ground made it harder to walk but she loved it. She hoped the snow would stick around until Christmas. There was nothing more magical than waking on Christmas morning to a blanket of white.

"Good morning, Sergeant," she called to Sergeant Benton in his guard house. She showed him her pass. "On gate duty again?"

"Yes, Miss," Benton nodded glancing warily towards the UNIT building. "Anything to get out of there. The Doctor got into it first thing with the Brigadier." He shuddered. "It wasn't pretty."

Jo sighed. "What was it this time?"

"What it always is," Benton shrugged.

"Lab supplies," they both said in unison. Jo giggled.

"Well, wish me luck, Sergeant. I guess I'd better go see if I can negotiate a peace treaty."

 **Operation Xmas**

The atmosphere inside UNIT HQ could be described as chilly at best. It was eerily silent in the halls. The normal noise and chatter of a military base were absent. Instead, everyone was walking on eggshells to avoid the wrath of the Brigadier, or worse, the Doctor. Jo sighed. When she had signed up for this job, she hadn't thought peacekeeper would be one of her responsibilities. She was a competent lab assistant in her own right and had expected to spend most of her time inside of an actual lab. Not that she was complaining, she loved the adventures she had with the Doctor even if they were absolutely terrifying most of the time. But being the voice of reason when the Doctor got into one of his many spats with the Brigadier was not her idea of fun.

Jo gingerly walked down the hall trying to be as quiet as she could. There was no use drawing attention to herself before she had come up with a plan to reconcile the Brigadier and the Doctor. She was going through various arguments in her head on her way to the Brigadier's office when she heard a loud thud. A loud thud that sounded very similar to the one she had heard last night. She paused and listened. Again, a loud thud sounded from the mess hall. Jo looked around to find that she was alone. Another thud. She took a deep breath and then began to creep down the hallway towards the mess hall.

Jo pressed her ear against the door to try to hear what was on the other side. Now that she was closer she could make out a pattern from the loud thuds. It sounded like there was someone or something pacing inside. But she heard something else too. It was almost like...snuffling? Jo frowned.

Carefully and oh so slowly, Jo cracked open the door and peered inside. At first, she could see nothing until a flash of blue caught her eye. Jo gasped. Pacing the mess hall was the biggest bear she had ever seen. But unlike any bear she could think of, it had the lightest blue fur. Jo thought she had seen this bear before, it looked so familiar, but she couldn't place it.

Suddenly the bear lifted its snout sniffing loudly. Its head turned slowly towards the door where Jo was hiding. Jo froze as the bear's icy blue eyes landed on her. The bear growled low in its throat crouching down into itself. Jo took a half step backward still holding onto the door when the great bear roared and charged her.

 **Operation Xmas**

Captain Yates was not having what one could call a good morning. He'd come into UNIT HQ in the middle of a shouting match between the Brigadier and the Doctor. He'd thankfully managed to duck out before either of them began throwing things, but now he was stuck cleaning up after them. Honestly, was it too much to ask for just one quiet day?

Captain Yates sighed in relief as he finally finished putting the expense reports back in order from the Doctor tossing them across the room. If he was lucky, he'd only have to redo them once more. If he wasn't… Well, no use asking for trouble. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.

A loud roar jarred him awake. He fell sideways off of his chair sending the papers on his desk flying. He groaned at his bad luck until he heard a scream. A woman's scream. Miss Grant!

Captain Yates bolted out of his office. He ran pell-mell down the hallway following Miss Grant's cries for help. He pulled his gun from its holster and skidded around a corner. There in front of the mess hall doors was a giant blue bear standing menacingly over Miss Grant. Its sharp teeth were inches from her head. Captain Yates took aim and shouted, "Miss Grant, look out!"

"No!" Miss Grant leaped up from the floor to stand in front of the beast.

Captain Yates lowered his gun. "Get out of the way!"

"No!" Jo repeated placing herself directly in Captain Yates' line of sight. "You can't shoot him! You can't!"

More soldiers came running down the hallway pointing their guns at the bear as MIss Grant planted herself firmly in front of it. Captain Yates watched in horror as the great bear opened its maw to growl over Miss Grant's shoulder. He tried once again, "Miss Grant, move!"

Jo reached up and placed her hand on the beast's head and it calmed instantly lowering its head to lay on her shoulder. Captain Yates gaped as it then plopped itself on its hindquarters, tongue lolling out in a sort of stupid grin as Jo scratched behind its ears.

"See?" Jo said. "He's friendly. I don't think he'd hurt a fly."

Captain Yates cautiously lowered his gun motioning for his men to do the same. He took a step towards Jo to stop as the bear growled once again. "Are you quite sure it's friendly?"

Jo laughed. "Well, he likes me."

It was at just that moment that the Doctor lazily waltzed down the hallway. He stopped beside Captain Yates planting his hands on his hips. "What's all this commotion? I'm in the middle of a very delicate experiment."

"Well," Captain Yates began slowly, pointing to Miss Grant and her giant blue bear, "we thought Miss Grant was being eaten by a bear."

The Doctor huffed haughtily. "By a Triton Ice Bear? You've got to be joking!"

"An ice bear?" Jo asked still petting the docile bear.

"A Triton ice bear," the Doctor explained turning to Jo. "It's from Neptune's ice moon and it's one of the most gentle creatures in the universe. How did you find one?"

Jo shrugged, "It was in the mess hall."

She walked towards the Doctor and Captain Yates. The ice bear heaved itself to its feet to follow her. Captain Yates definitely did not flinch a step backward though he felt his men behind him shuffle nervously. The Doctor met Jo halfway reaching up to pet the massive bear himself. It towered over the Doctor.

"Well, what are you going to do with it?" Captain Yates asked still standing a few feet back from the bear.

"Oh, can we keep him?" Jo asked. "He's so sweet."

The Doctor hummed. "I don't think he would like it here. It's much too warm."

Jo shook her head sadly hugging what she could reach of the bear. It lowered its massive head to nuzzle her cheek. Captain Yates could only watch in disbelief.

"Captain Yates, would you care to tell me what's going on here."

Captain Yates jumped at the Brigadier's sudden appearance. The Brigadier looked over the scene with a shrewd glare. His eyes hardened a when they landed on the Doctor standing beside the giant bear. The Doctor glared back.

"This had nothing to do with me!"

The Brigadier rolled his eyes. "It never does, Doctor."

The Doctor huffed and turned on his heel to walk away towards the mess hall. "Come on, Jo," he called over his shoulder. "Bring the bear, too."

Jo shrugged at Captain Yates with a wry grin and followed the Doctor down the hallway leaving Captain Yates to deal with an irate Brigadier on his own.

 **Operation Xmas**

"Oh no," Jo groaned looking around at all of her decorations on the ground once again. She turned to mock glare at the ice bear. "Why did you have to tear everything down?"

"Looks like it ate the ham, too," the Doctor called from the kitchen. He popped his head out of the door, "Let's not tell the Brigadier about that, hmm?"

"Not tell me about what?" The Brigadier marched into the mess hall casting a cursory glance over the Christmas decor hanging haphazardly from the walls. He stopped right in front of the Doctor drawing himself up to his full height. "I think you should tell me exactly what is going on and _why_ there is a blue bear following Miss Grant around like a lost puppy."

The Doctor began to sneer at the Brigadier, but Jo stepped in front of him before he could start another fight. "I found him, Brigadier. He was in the mess hall this morning when I came in. Come to think of it he may have been here last night, too," she added thoughtfully. "I thought I heard something in here last night before I went home."

The Brigadier blinked in shock. "And you didn't think to tell anyone?"

"I thought I was just hearing things," Jo shrugged. The bear, sensing it was being talked about, stuck it's nose in her ear making her giggle. The Doctor used it as a distraction to slip back into the kitchen.

'Yes, but that doesn't explain how the thing got in here in the first place, Doctor," the Brigadier said looking around Jo. "Doctor?"

"I think I might know how he got in, Brigadier," Jo said pushing the bear's snout away from her face.

"What?" Both the Brigadier and the Doctor looked at Jo in surprise, the latter having stuck his head back around the kitchen door frame to do so.

"I think I know how he got inside," Jo repeated and walked over to the tilting Christmas tree. "I thought he looked familiar," she said pointing to the bear as she walked around the Christmas tree looking it up and down. She stopped and turned back to the two men. "It's gone."

"What's gone?" the Doctor asked irritated.

"The ornament that that attendant gave me yesterday after he brought us another tree. It was the prettiest blue bear. I remember saying it looked so real and now it's gone and we have a bear."

"You can't be serious," the Brigadier scoffed.

The Doctor stalked out of the kitchen to pace around the bear at Jo's side. "Hmmmm... Jo, I think you might be on to something."

"Doctor," the Brigadier sighed, "what is going on?"

The Doctor turned abruptly to looked at the Brigadier and assumed his 'I'm-about-to-give-you-a-lecture' stance. "The tree, Brigadier. It's all to do with the tree."

The Brigadier looked to Jo helplessly. "The tree?"

"Yes, the tree!" The Doctor began to pace back and forth. "Obviously, there is some type of infestation going on amongst Britain's evergreens." He shook his head. "I'm surprised we've not heard reports of aliens in other Christmas trees. It's the only explanation. Someone is putting aliens in unsuspecting humans' Christmas trees," he declared grandly. "We're just lucky that they've only been harmless ones."

Jo and the Brigadier exchanged a dubious look. "Doctor," Jo began, "don't you think if other people were getting aliens in their Christmas trees we would have heard about it?"

"Yes, Doctor, I'm quite sure that if there was an alien invasion going on, however harmless, UNIT would know about it."

"Couldn't it just be our tree?" Jo asked.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jo," the Doctor snorted. "Why would it just be our tree?"

With that, he scurried out of the room muttering to himself about Christmas alien invasions. Jo exchanged an incredulous look with the Brigadier. "How long do you think it will take for him to realize that it's probably only our tree with the problem?"

The Brigadier sighed. "Probably until the next alien comes leaping out of that tree." He looked around at the various Christmas decorations on the ground. "I'll send a few men to help you clean this up for tonight's dinner. And then I'll order us another ham," he glanced at the bear sitting quietly by Jo's side. "And I'll order an extra one for Blue, even though he's already had his Christmas dinner."

 **Operation Xmas**

"What do you think of this?" Jo asked walking out of the TARDIS holding up a Christmas wreath she had found. But the lab was empty save for Blue the Triton ice bear who had looked up at Jo's voice. She frowned. "Where'd the Doctor go?"

Blue merely laid his head down and went back to sleep, his snores echoing through the room. Jo shook her head and went in search of the Doctor. She had gone into the TARDIS to find some more decorations for the mess hall. With the UNIT dinner tonight she hadn't had time to go out to get more after the zzaxxl and Blue had torn down all the Christmas decorations they'd had. Luckily the TARDIS was more than equipped for the occasion, but there was something missing and Jo thought she'd found it in the evergreen wreath covered in red baubles. Jo shrugged. She'd hang the wreath on the mess hall door and not worry about it. The Doctor had said she could use whatever she found in the TARDIS.

Jo turned the corner to the mess hall and stopped. There was some sort of commotion coming from inside. She set her jaw and marched down the hallway. If what she thought was happening was happening it better not be!

Jo burst through the doorway and froze. All of her careful planning and decorating was in _ruins._ She breathed deeply. Chaos reigned in the room around her. She took it all in until she zeroed in on the source of the destruction-a two-on-one sword fight on the far side of the room. The Doctor and the Brigadier were locked in a fight with the Christmas tree attendant. No, not the attendant, the Master! Jo gasped. Retsam Christmas Trees and the Master. How had she not seen it before? She growled deep in her throat.

"How DARE you?!"

All three men froze at the fury emanating from the normally bright and bubbly Jo Grant. Her anger whirled around her as she blew across the room. The Doctor and the Brigadier stepped aside as she swept by them to stand defiantly in front of the one person that would cause such a mess-the Master. With one swift swipe, she knocked the sword out of his shocked hands. He glanced towards the Doctor in true fear before he returned his full attention back to Jo. She growled and poked him in the chest-hard.

"You!'"Another jab. "This is all _your fault_!" The Master stepped back from the force of her ire. "All I wanted- _all_ I wanted- was _one_ day- ONE! Just _one_ normal day to celebrate Christmas! Did I get that?" she asked gesturing wildly around her. "Did I get that? No!"

She whirled around to glare at her so-called friends. "And you! You're all just as bad as he is!"

"But Jo-" the Doctor began.

"No!" she cut him off. "I don't care why it happened. I am going to have my Christmas party. And you all," she turned to glare at the Master," _all_ are going to help clean up this mess so we can sit down and have a lovely Christmas dinner. Then, after you can all kill each other if you want. Until then, we're all going to play nicely." She beamed at them. "Yes?"

They all looked at each other shuffling uneasily. The Doctor chuckled nervously. "Sounds marvelous, Jo. Right, boys?"

A chorus of nods was his answer.

 **Operation Xmas**

"This is humiliating," the Master muttered to the Doctor who nodded in agreement. Both Time Lords sported green paper crowns.

"What did you say?" Jo asked with an unnerving smile.

The Master recovered before the Doctor and grinned charmingly at Miss Grant. "I said this is exhilarating. Absolutely charming."

She continued to stare at him with an unnerving smile. "That's what I thought you said. Christmas is anything but humiliating."

The UNIT Christmas dinner was in full swing. The Doctor and the Master had put the mess hall back together in record time. The mess hall was a brightly colored winter wonderland. Garlands were strung along the walls and over the ceiling, red poinsettias decorated the tables, and in pride of place, a large evergreen stood covered in shining lights and (mostly) harmless ornaments. Now the whole of UNIT was gathered around the tables and Jo couldn't have asked for anything better.

"I'm going to regret asking this," the Brigadier said leaning forward in his chair to look around Jo to the Master, "but why exactly did you put those aliens in our Christmas tree?"

The whole table stopped to hear his answer. The Master looked uncomfortable, but after a nudged from Jo cleared his throat. "Well, the Doctor seemed so set on having a pet in you humans I thought I'd get him a proper one for Christmas."

The table erupted in a roar of indignation, a fight just about to boil over, when Jo stood on her chair and shouted, "ENOUGH!"

Silence. Then:

"This is a lovely party, Miss Grant," Sergeant Benton said sitting back down in his seat. The others soon followed, some reluctantly.

"Thank you, Sergeant," Jo smiled at him. She turned to the Master beside her. "Happy Christmas, everyone!"


End file.
